When did u meet your first love and how is it going now with/without them?

2022.01.24 02:47 mcdreammy When did u meet your first love and how is it going now with/without them?

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2022.01.24 02:47 MLaaTRFanbase What’s the best way to determine if someone is an insufferable film snob?

I mean, besides being in this subreddit.
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2022.01.24 02:47 Randomaccount707 I need to get my shit together

Warning for bullimia, self harm and general self-deprecating thoughts.
It's currently the middle of the night and I just chugged two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. I've got three assignments due tomorrow (today? It's past midnight), one VERY overdue assignment, and multiple other assignments due over the course of this week. I've been procrastinating heavily on them (especially on a coding assignment).
For the past few months, my entire school lifestyle can be summed up as "let's see how close to the deadline I can finish a project". At first, I'd only give myself a few days. Then it slowly became one day. Then it because half a day. And now I have 7 hours. 7 hours may seem like plenty, but I'm stuck in my coding project; I have no idea how to go about coding the assignment. I understand how the logic should work, but translating English into code is difficult for me. Not to mention I have to prepare a presentation for my English class tomorrow that I haven't started working on yet at all.
You're probably wondering, "Well, why the hell don't you just get on with the work? Stop complaining on Reddit." And that would be the rational thing to do. I know I have to do it. I'm not at the point where I've completely given up yet. I still have to save face (...kind of. I've given up in one of my courses, since I'm currently at a 79 average and I'm 99% sure I failed my last test so it's sure to have gone down). But I'm being extremely irrational right now. It's so stupid I could cry. All I do is hole up in my room and mindlessly scroll through reddit, play games, listen to video essays on youtube, or self-harm. I don't know if you've noticed, but the thing they all have in common is that I don't need to think while doing those things.
Reddit is fun. I can curate my feed and engage in specific things that I like. Though games do require a degree of skill, when compared to doing work for school, they are a relatively simple task. Video essays are literally having someone else do the thinking for you. They have a topic they're trying to prove; all I'm doing is being a passive listener. And finally, self harm. It's so easy to do it. And it gives me an excuse to not think about my downward-spiraling life. I'm pretty sure eating disorders are a form of self-harm, so I'm grouping them together. It's hard to explain, but whenever I cut myself or eat excessively then vomit it all out, my mind can kind of zero in on that specific task. Thoughts about how these actions are bad for my health, how disappointing it is to be curled over a toilet bowl while vomitting and bleeding, how pathetic I am for doing these things because why the hell would I do it other than for attention? They all get dialed back, like the volume has been turned down. It's refreshing to be able to exist without my mind berating myself constantly.
I've lived a perfectly healthy childhood, with only a few rough patches here and there with my parents. Nothing so terrible as to incur PTSD or another mental illness. I've got no excuse to be lazy to the point of leaving assignments until the last possible moment, to not shower for days and sometimes weeks, to leave trash in my room, or to do any "stereotypical" things that a depressed person would do. So, I have to wonder to myself: why the hell am I doing these things? It's so irrational.
I'm not sure how to segway into this properly but anyways... I've found that it's become increasingly more difficult to talk. Anything ranging from small talk to talking about personal problems of mine terrify me. It's a bit better online, where it's slightly less personal than facing an actual live human in front of me. I used to be a kid who'd talk to strangers whenever I could. When walking in the neighbourhood, I'd greet anyone I saw on the road. I wasn't the most comfortable with teachers, but I could hold up a conversation well enough. But now even the thought of asking a teacher for help sends me into a panicked spiral. I'm afraid of not living up to teachers' expectations for me, especially with my coding teacher. Both the student assistant and teacher have explicitly told me to my face, numerous times, that I am excellent at coding. Usually such a thing would motivate someone, right? But for me, it gives me intense fear. In reality, I'm not confident in my coding at all. Hell, I'm struggling with this project of mine that's due soon. But I've been able to fake it till I made it and now their perception of my skill level is warped. So it's very hard to admit I'm completely lost. It would be so embarassing. Talking about my personal problems is equally bad. I always feel like I'm faking it or doing it because it's "trendy" to have a mental health issue these days. It's a thing that is flaunted. For me, this feeling of faking it has gotten so bad that I can't even bring myself to vent about my problems in the specific platform I curated for myself for the express purpose of venting about my problems. It's laughable.
Anyways. It's been nearly an hour since I started writing this and my projects are no closer to getting finished so I have to start working on them now (AKA me saying I'm going to work But Actually I am going to play games because I constantly dissapoint myself :)). The coffee has not kicked in yet, because all I feel is a headache and exhaustion. This is my third time drinking coffee, so I'm not sure if this is normal. Caffeine is supposed to make you focus better and feel awake, but nothing is happening. Just wonderful /s. I hope I don't fall asleep before I finish my work (I hope I actually get around to doing my work...). I've got no time to proofread or regret typing this all up so I guess I'll post it now.
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2022.01.24 02:47 muxxje Baked Gorilla🦍 Server

Baked Gorilla🦍 Server submitted by muxxje to NFTgiveaway [link] [comments]


2022.01.24 02:47 PolygonalMetal Polygonal pit bull figure made of metal, 1.5 mm

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2022.01.24 02:47 cooonnarr Antibiotic and painkillers, substitutes and other important stuff I forgot

I was thinking if shtf and you were down to some questionable food, what would you do if you got some sort of big stomach infection? What if a dog bit out a chunk of your leg and you gotta fix it but you know the pain would be to drastic to attempt to fix it?
I then realised I dont have 6 if bags worth of morphine and that made me wonder how would you go about getting some sort of painkiller or antibiotic if you could no longer and just get a prescription.
And yes I know about teas, I'm thinking about heavy duty things like for surgery.
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2022.01.24 02:47 Hot-Space-6403 24M Anyone up for a genuine connection? Everyone desires but no one tries. [Friendship]

I just recently turned 24 and this is my first post after turning 24 😅. Anyways, My goal in here is to actually find a genuine connection with someone cause I feel like I'm a hard person to vibe. I know that because of the amount of times I've tried.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that I suck. I swear, I have a bit of self confidence in me xD but I feel like I relate with very few people. And I love people who try and I can see there effort. Because I make the same effort as well :)
So about my interests. I am a gamer (on pc) and pretty much can play any game you'd like xD I mean. I'm very open to new games. (Please be ok If I suck ._.) I'm a very chill type person, very calm so I'm not a raging person at all. I like to laugh and smile a lot too because I'd love to see the other person happy as well and I believe it is contagious!
Apart from gaming, I like photography (mostly phone), fitness, yoga, outdoors hiking and stuff and a lot more stuff that could probably be revealed through our conversations.
Don't please just say Hello or Hi cause that's not gonna catch attention. (Oooof sass from sass coming out from a guy who won't even get any replies and is already singling out half the population) I prefer quality over quantity that's for sure xD. Did you like this post? Please tell me!
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2022.01.24 02:47 BEEing_ME More pig popping! This time not his gums but blocked scent glands

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2022.01.24 02:47 H1span1cAtTheD1sc0 I can’t really take much of this anymore

For about half my life I’ve felt this way. As a child I remember everything being so easy. I went to school, played with the other kids and went home. It wasn’t until I got older I realized I wasn’t all that happy. I never got to play with kids outside of school, it was always me being sheltered at home. My family feared every worst case scenario would happen to me. My first heartbreak was when I was like 11 and I wanted to ask this girl I really liked to this dance before our graduation, and the day I was going to ask I found out someone else asked her. That hurt a lot to 11 year old me, but I’d learn that I’d be hit a lot harder down the line. Anyway, as I went on to middle school, I was ruthlessly bullied. I was called all kinds of names. Offensive slurs, racist and homophobic slurs too. I was told to unalive myself, that I was just a waste of oxygen and that no one will ever love me, not to mention the physical stuff. One time these 2 guys cornered me and choked me and pinned me on the table lol. One guy used to force me to sext with him pretending to be another girl in our class. He spread horrible rumors about me and made the girl I had a crush on hate me because of it. I didn’t really have any friends back then, so no one ever stood up for me, so I resorted to befriending some of my bullies and accepted their harassment, just so I wasn’t alone. Finally in high school I started seeing this girl. We were together for a few months but then she cheated on me. That stung, considering she always told me that she loved me and that I was her “king” (typical 14 year old cringe). I loved her a lot too, she was my first girlfriend and I was so happy to be with her. After that happened I was in this terrible place for about a year. I felt worthless, reminded of what my bullies used to say “no one will ever love you”. After getting over her, I met this other girl. Same thing happened, she cheated on me. That ice cold feeling in my chest hurts like shit. Then when I was about 18, I started seeing this other girl. She was gorgeous. So cute, beautiful, and funny. I loved everything about her. She and I could relate to having harsh past relationships. We were together for a while, but then she kinda… lost it? She kept saying how she wanted to die and how she was worthless and that I was better off with someone else. I don’t really know what happened to her after that. I blamed myself, thinking I could’ve done something different or that I wasn’t good enough. And my most recent relationship, when I was 20, was the best one. After every relationship, the few friends I had would always tell me that I’ll find someone, and I’ll be happy with them someday. The “right person will come soon”. I thought she was the one I had been waiting for. We were best friends, had so much in common. She had this unique speech pattern that I found so adorable despite her hating it. I was so in love with her. I remember joking about us getting married. She used to tell me that she wanted a daughter. I fantasized about how our wedding would look like, then the kind of house we’d live in. But then she too would cheat on me. Turns out she was talking to someone else the whole time we were together. Maybe I was the side piece, since they would be together long after she left me. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered, it just hurt me so much. When her and I had started dating, I was so hesitant to trust her, but she assured me she would never hurt me the way I had been hurt in the past. I felt safe with her honestly. But after what she did, after telling me she wouldn’t, I don’t know if I could trust anyone anymore. Years later, there’s this other girl. She’s a good friend, and I think I’ve fallen for her. She’s so sweet to me, and at this point my only friend. Everyone else grew apart from me. I just don’t know if things will work with us. If they don’t, then the friendship is kinda ruined, I think. I think she would say yes if I asked her out, but I don’t know. School, family, other things is causing me so much stress I’m getting overwhelmed and I have no one to talk to that I just bottle up my emotions. I don’t really know what to do.
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2022.01.24 02:47 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Business] - Sensex drops over 200 points in early trade; Nifty slips below 17,600 | The Hindu

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2022.01.24 02:47 kdf2883 Requested Song from Sims stream

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2022.01.24 02:47 smally-bells-7 What is your favorite Dolly Parton song?

View Poll
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2022.01.24 02:47 Faeswordsman Tripping The Ire?

The first thing that came to my mind after reading how arts and realms worked was what would happen if you used Tripping The Ire with Nature 5. For I thought natural phenomenon would gain a deal of sentience and become demi-god like beings. That's probably not what happens though... How would you rule it?
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2022.01.24 02:47 Solid_Snark Don’t try it!

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2022.01.24 02:47 AutoNewspaperAdmin [World] - Google asks judge to dismiss most of Texas antitrust lawsuit | The Hindu

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2022.01.24 02:47 NowYuoSee123 As much as I love these wheels, might have to go back to the Pretoria’s soon…

As much as I love these wheels, might have to go back to the Pretoria’s soon… submitted by NowYuoSee123 to GolfGTI [link] [comments]


2022.01.24 02:47 vsides Funny how different my handwriting looks, depending on the pen lol

Funny how different my handwriting looks, depending on the pen lol submitted by vsides to Handwriting [link] [comments]


2022.01.24 02:47 helpmekenji Which one do you like???

Which one do you like??? submitted by helpmekenji to SunKenji [link] [comments]


2022.01.24 02:47 ChungkuoRun This is an Acura for Japan😂

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2022.01.24 02:47 emadbably Chatting sentences in English|Whatsapp chatting English Sentences| सोशलमीडियावरइंग्लिशमध्येकसेबोलावे

Chatting sentences in English|Whatsapp chatting English Sentences| सोशलमीडियावरइंग्लिशमध्येकसेबोलावे submitted by emadbably to LearnEnglishFree [link] [comments]


2022.01.24 02:47 MadeThisBecauseYes trading mer19 and val19 for either hal19 and adds or val20 and adds

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2022.01.24 02:47 vicczz I (22) want to help cheer up my grandma (late 70s) any ideas

Hello. As the title suggests im wanting to do something for my grandma. We lost my grandpa in June and she's been very depressed. She always puts up a front and tries not to cry, they were married a week from being 60 years, but she recently said she wishes she didnt have to leave her bed. I totally understand that nothing is going to flip her day around or forget the pain. I live two hours away and am planning on visiting once a month. I did this week, but its also hard since im a premed student. I know family comes first and my time is more valuable to her compared to giving her anything. Idk if anyone has some good craft ideas or any German recipes. She loves German food and we often make it together. Or im honestly bad with words in this situation, so even if someone has some ideas of kind words. I love her and my grandpa so much and wish I could do something even if its small to make her feel appreciated or keep her mind off of it for an hour or so. Thank you!
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2022.01.24 02:47 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Tech] - U.S. House bill on China competitiveness, chip investment, coming soon: Pelosi | The Hindu

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2022.01.24 02:47 UIatlus Swinging improvements for spiderman 2

I think spiderman ps4 did a lot for swinging making the control of it tight and responsive and easy to get really good. But with the sequel I would like to see a lot of improvements. I think they should take more inspiration from spiderman 2 ps2. Being able to attach a web and run along the street or path is iconic in not only the ps2 games but movies as well, having an invisible barrier stop you from moving further felt lacking imo. Being able to use two webs in order to change direction at a moments notice or to catapult yourself across NYC. Finally being able to wrap your web around poles and gaining momentum by swinging in a loop was so fun to do in other games that spiderman 2 should have it. Also if symbiote suit is added I would like to see another web slinging style or different animations. I think the swinging in spiderman ps4 is perfectly fine but it is pretty basic all things considered. The swinging in spiderman 2 should give more options to make the swinging open to experimentation while also making it easy to pick up for new players and make traversal more interesting for players who've mastered spiderman ps4s swinging mechanics. We need a new system for it to keep it fresh while not destroying what made the swinging in spiderman ps4 so tight to control. I would love to hear any one else's ideas for different traversal
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2022.01.24 02:47 wonwookoh Sunday dinner

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